In a week....

In just a week, 7 days, I will be starting the recovery phase of this mandarin thing!  I'm apprehensive and a bit concerned.  I'm not scared about the actual mass being anything but benign.  However, I'm having brain surgery and that is what has me thinking.  Maybe I'm thinking too much!

I've come to a lot of conclusions about myself, self reflection has been one of the toughest things with this.  I know (and am so happy)that I'm not in a battle of my life (ca...er and all) but for me (for us) this has been a change in our behaviors and thinking.  Accepting help, because I'm the do'er/helper, has been the hardest.  Is it pride?  Is it stubborn?  How do I learn to say 'yes' to help instead of 'yes' to doing?  I've come a long way in 3 weeks, believe me.  Being able to accept is something that is learned and I'm getting there.  My boundaries are changing too.  What am I willing to do? Help with? My help is mostly in the form or phone calls or texting now to friends and extended family.  I'd love to help more but at this point my focus is far more me (oh dear!) and my family centered.  Rant over.

Thank you to my sister, Jo-Ann, for setting up a meal plan for us.  What an amazing gift to come home after football pick up daily to a warm meal and only a few dishes to do.  This was a huge jump for me to accept.  I can muddle through and make it daily, can't I?  By afternoon, I'm ready for bed and not having to work on dinner and the big mess is such a gift.  My biggest concern with this diagnosis was that Sarah (our sweet 18yo daughter) would be forced to become a housewoman/mom-ish/do'er.  She's a great help but works and goes to school as well.   Thanks Jo for looking after us!!


So, in a week I'll be at RCH covering.  I'm excited to get going and in a few months be back to my old self, albeit with new boundaries and a few new strategies to not be the 'all' to everyone.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

xo